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Hello People me. They do that, because never, in all my born days, have I ever revealed my true name to anyone, as I do now, to you. Dont say anything. Just breathe, and act normal.
Normally, I live in a superhero movie, where I battle injustice on a cosmic scale with my guitar playing and biting sarcasm. As a retired vet, I have mysterious military-like powers and long sideburns. I have this pesky pension that just follows me around and permits me to battle for truth or the American way, whichever seems appropriate at the moment. Are you ready for this? Ok dont have anything in your hand I need to reveal something more I am Captain Cannabis.
Yes, it is I. I am the result of cold war era experiments to develop a super hippie. I smoked radioactive marijuana in the seventies, and gained all the powers of a marijuana plant, but proportionate to my size. Like, theres this bank robbery about to happen, and I am there, because serendipity is one of my superpowers and instantly, everyone forgets what they were doing. Theres this guy in line with a gun and a paper bag wondering what he was supposed to do with the ski mask. He walks out thinking "I dont even have an in that bank what was I thinking? We all do our part.
If youve read my comic books or seen my movie you might know they really rip me up in the love department. Im one of those superheros who never gets the girl. I can use my powers to make anyone forget anyone but nobody remembers me. But lets forget all that Im auditioning for sidekicks.
Im not a wealthy billionaire like a lot of superheros, but I will be soon. I have a lawsuit Im suing Radiohead for writing songs about my life. They should write songs about their OWN lives or pay me. I dont care which.
Then after them, Im suing the estate of Williams sr. And this could go on and on So catch me while Im still a humble superhero.
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