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By Allison Saunders. It's one of those terms that can't really be universally defined.
Love is an emotion desired by some and avoided by others. And then there's sex Do they always have to come as a package deal? Are their powers just as strong if the duo is split up? Dana [for purposes of anonymity, last names will not be used] thinks so. He's a local swinger. Not the raunchy, s, silk shirt open-to-the-navel, cue-the-cheesy-porn-music type you might be picturing, though.
He's level-headed, obliging and a dedicated companion to his long-time girlfriend. Though his lifestyle is a private part of his life, he opens up honestly to debunk some misconceptions. Dana says there are a lot of websites marketing the salacious aspects of swinging to single guys.
Though Dana calls the province conservative towards swinging, Club ESP's mailing list is 1, strong and still growingwith members ranging from 25 to 55 years old. And as far as the Maritimes go, Halifax is where most of the swingers are, followed by Moncton and Saint John. Dana became more aware of the growing population after taking part in the Everything to Do with Sex Show in January at the Cunard Centre. There are a lot of new people that are very interested and curious.
One of the members of MASCA is Dartmouth's Club SOS, an off-premises club meaning sexual activity doesn't take place at the club, but usually at a nearby location that holds monthly events for its members. It's run by Verna and her husband.
They've been married for 25 years and swinging has been their lifestyle for the better part of their relationship. Nine years in the making, SOS came from an experience at another club that didn't go so well, so Verna decided to "open an off-premises club where like-minded people could meet and maybe make a connection with no pressure. The stereotyped scenario most of us think of when it comes to swinging might look a little something like a key party, where your mate for the evening is determined by whose keys you draw out of a dish.
This swinging practice from the '70s is now a far cry from the modern lifestyle. Swingers are generally couples that take part in various sexual acts with other couples, or sometimes individuals. The catch is the mutual consent: Swinging is Swingers in hrm cheating because both parties agree upon it and in many cases are a witness to it. Everybody has sexual fantasies, I don't care who they are," Verna states. Swingers tend to fall into different. They usually communicate over the internet or the phone and sometimes attend events, only to look at the menu: They never order.
People usually stay in this phase until they feel comfortable enough to take it further. Some couples prefer soft-core swinging where they only share foreplay with another couple and keep the act of intercourse for themselves. It's the "hardcore swingers" most people associate with the lifestylethe party anywhere, anytime type of people who, Dana says, are a minority. While swinging is considered an infidelity by some, both Dana and Verna stress that it takes more than sex drive to be part of the swinger's lifestyle. So, it's not whether your relationship is lacking that little extra oomph, but is Swingers in hrm strong enough to endure sex with other partners?
It isn't just about what happens in the bedroom, but how you reconnect afterwards. You can't just go out and play with somebody and not talk about it the next day. Playing, or being sexual with someone, should be a shared experience; swinging is about your partner's pleasure just as much as it is your own.
On top of communication, swingers usually abide by rules, not only set by the club, but within their couple. If we're going to have fun it's going to be together; same room, same bed. It's about communication and comfort. When they play, it's always together and it's always safe sex. Swinging begs the question of how someone could watch their partner engage in sex with another person.
Members of the straight, non-swinging community often question the trust between a swinging couple and marvel at howor ifit's possible to avoid jealousy's poisonous ingredient. This is where your emotions and your actions should become unconnected entities. You'll play with somebody and that person will teach you something you didn't know.
You're always learning. Verna has come to realize that what she and her husband do in the bedroom alone can't be compared to what they do at their parties. If they swing it's not making love; there is a difference. Dana and ESP's Valentine's Day, on the other hand, will be a tighter knit house party as he's been too busy to plan anything bigger after the Everything to do with Sex Show.
Swingers' parties are usually kept private to ensure comfort and freedom, so if you're looking to in on any festivities, you'll have to take it up with the club's director. Reach them at sos-club. So what will Valentine's Day bring, sex or lovemaking? Swingers in hrm you like to swing, it looks like there's room for both. We are committed as always to providing free access to readers, particularly as we confront the impact of COVID in Halifax and beyond.
about the work we do hereor consider making a donation. Thank you for your support! Your horoscope for the week September October 6. Fully vaccinated Canada: animated tracker of national vaccine progress in February 12, About The Author. Allison Saunders. Support The Coast. More by Allison Saunders. With a voice as big as the sea By Allison Saunders Dec 5, More ». Comments Add a comment. Subscribe to this thread:. By. Subscribe to this thread. A perfect matchmaker By Gabrielle Drolet Sep 2, All Lifestyle ».
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The swinger's dance